understanding your nervous system states . Your nervous system isn’t broken when you feel anxious, overwhelmed, or shut down. It’s responding exactly as it was designed to based on what it perceives as safe or threatening.
The Polyvagal Ladder helps us understand these responses as adaptive rather than pathological. Each state served a purpose in keeping our ancestors alive, and each state still serves a purpose today.
What I find most helpful about this framework is that it removes shame from our nervous system responses. When you’re in fight/flight, you’re not being dramatic. When you’re in shutdown, you’re not being lazy. Your nervous system is doing its job.
Understanding where you are on the ladder gives you choices about how to respond. Sometimes we need the energy of sympathetic activation. Sometimes we need the rest of dorsal vagal. And sometimes we need the connection of ventral vagal.
The magic happens when we can recognise our state, honour what it’s trying to do for us, and then gently guide ourselves toward the state that serves us best in the moment.
Building this awareness takes practice, but it’s one of the most powerful tools I know for working with anxiety, overwhelm, and disconnection.
Which state do you find yourself in most often? What helps you move between states?
Your nervous system operates like a ladder with three main states
Developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, Polyvagal Theory shows how your autonomic nervous system responds to safety and threat.
Understanding these states helps you recognise where you are and how to gently shift when needed.
Ventral Vagal – top of ladder
Ventral Vagal (safe & social): This is your ‘optimal’ state for connection and daily life.
What it feels like:
Calm but alert
Able to think clearly
Connected to others
Curious and open
Digestive system working well
Can handle stress without overwhelm
You might say: ‘I feel grounded and present.’
Sympathetic – middle of ladder
Sympathetic (fight or flight): Your mobilisation system activated for action.
What it feels like:
Heart racing or restless energy
Racing thoughts
Hypervigilant and scanning for threats
Difficulty concentrating
Feeling ‘wired but tired’
Digestive issues
You might say: ‘I feel on edge and can’t slow down.’
Dorsal Vagal – bottom of ladder
Dorsal Vagal (shutdown): Your system’s protective disconnection response.
What it feels like:
Numb or emotionally flat
Foggy thinking
Extreme fatigue
Feeling disconnected from others
Hopeless or empty
Wanting to isolate
You might say: ‘I feel like I’m watching my life from outside.’
Moving between states:
Moving up the ladder (toward safety):
From dorsal to sympathetic: gentle movement, hot shower/bath or sauna, calling a friend
From sympathetic to ventral vagal: deep breathing, humming, progressive muscle relaxation, grounding techniques, cold water on face
The key: small, gentle shifts work better than forcing dramatic changes.
Self-assessment tool:
Quick check-in: Where am I right now?
Energy level: Flat and low / Anxious and high / Calm and steady
Thoughts: Foggy/blank / Racing/worried
/ Clear and focused
Social desire: Want to hide / Feel
defensive / Want connection
Body: Heavy/numb/ Tense/activated /Relaxed/grounded
Notice without judgment – all states serve a purpose.
Working with your states:
Practical applications:
Track patterns: notice your typical triggers and times
Name your state: ‘I’m in sympathetic activation right now’
Choose interventions: match techniques to your current state
Practice when calm: build regulation skills in ventral vagal
Be patient: state changes take time
Remember: The goal isn’t to stay in ventral vagal 24/7 – it’s to have flexibility.
References
Porges, S. W. (2011). The polyvagal theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. Norton.
Dana, D. (2018). The polyvagal theory in therapy: Engaging the rhythm of regulation. Norton.
Dana, D. (2020). Anchored: How to befriend your nervous system using polyvagal theory. Sounds True.
Porges, S. W. (2022). Polyvagal safety: Attachment, communication, self-regulation. Norton.
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